Do you ever walk into the room and notice the women who are shining?
These are the women who are alluding confidence; the women who seem to have a captive audience! You probably notice these women, but then divert your eyes downwards and thought ‘Gosh I wish I had that confidence, looked that good, sounded that good. What does she have that I don’t have?’
Well I am here to tell you that those amazing women, who seem to have the spotlight, weren’t naturally born like that. No, they weren’t! It is hard to believe but all things Confidence, Success, Self-Promotion and Flair are traits that people grow into.
Some people judge confident people. Some form the perception that confident people are arrogant and some people become envious.
Do you wish you were a confident woman who shined?
Let me give you some tips on how to BE confident.
Firstly, prepare yourself to step outside of your comfort zone and be THAT WOMAN that everyone wants to get to know…
- One of the biggest pieces of advice I can give you is to please STOP comparing yourself to others. You can look and feel great, sound great and be great – all whilst being YOU! Don’t change who you are only so people like you – do it for you!
- Try to put yourself back in a time, reflecting on a time when you felt amazing. Where were you? What were you wearing? Who were you with? For example, you might realise that before having kids you enjoying platting your hair which made you feel lovely. But since having kids you put their needs first. Once you identify these things you enjoyed doing try to find the time to factor them back into your life.
- Remember your past success and achievements, be proud of who you are, puff that chest out, wear your past successes with pride, own it!
- Try turning a negative thought into a positive one. Such as giving yourself a compliment. Better yet, start a conversation by giving someone else a compliment (a complete stranger) – this works! I use this strategy all the time! It breaks the ice, they smile, you smile, everyone is winning! And you will feel great for being the kind, beautiful woman you are.
- Make YOU a priority. If you feel uncomfortable in your body, skin or wardrobe then set some goals so you can get to a happier place; one where you are feeling sassy and savvy. Heard the saying “when you look good you feel good”. Find your style and rock it! Don’t conform, be true to your identity. If you need help with this, talk to a personal stylist, skin consultant or personal trainer.
- Please, oh please STOP trying to be perfect… embrace your imperfections. If you to default to your natural behaviour of thinking negatively when you are in an uncomfortable or unfamiliar environment, then please try to remember that you need to dig deep. You DO have the confidence to do whatever is challenging you, just be a little kinder to yourself, no one expects you to be perfect. i.e stop being so hard on yourself. There is no such thing as ‘perfection’ and don’t buy in to media’s perception of perfection, because trust me the models in magazines are photoshopped!
- Relax and breathe, and most of all enjoy the moment. Life is precious and you should be enjoying it, feeling confident.
Try all of the above and see if it changes where you are at. I do believe that you can master all of these steps above… and if all else fails, try practicing in front of the mirror with some positive affirmations. Put your shoulders back, push your chest out (don’t slouch), hold a positive thought, smile and even say to yourself ‘I’ve got this’. You will be very surprised at what positive self-talk can do for you!
It’s YOUR time to shine!
written by Nicky Sherwood – Peak Performance Life Coaching